We all have heard terms like one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. In some cases one man’s trash is another man’s trash. These terms all refer to addressing someone or something as damaged goods.
What is the definition of damaged? According to the dictionary it means –Inflict physical harm on (something) so as to impair its value, usefulness, or normal function.
What is the definition of goods? according to the dictionary it means- Things to be transported, as distinct from passengers.
What are we saying when refer to someone as damaged goods?
This can get pretty tricky if we dissect Every word in the definition of both words!
Can damaged goods be fixed?
In some cases this is when we recognize someone’s imperfections and tend to think we can fix them. While some of these imperfections are exactly what makes that person fascinating.
So if that’s the case why would you want to fix them?
After being married once, with 4 children and ultimately ending up with 3 baby mommas it came to a point where I was done with commitment. At one point I even thought I’d give women a taste of what I had been through. But being raised with 2 awesome parents I just don’t, nor didn’t have it in me. My current wife now says I have a weird love, hate relationship with women. Lol
When I really dissected down my experiences and why I was attracting the wrong women I then understood that I was born into what we call damaged goods. So I was taught to be damaged, then I was attracted to damaged, so I attracting the same thing, causing some pretty stressful times in life.
With this said, if I wanted different, I had to change me! Change differently what I attract.
And now that I have found the right one, it doesn’t mean that everything has worked out perfectly. See we think in order to get the woman or man of our dreams. We go out searching for someone perfect or set our standards so high that no one qualifies. Relax a little bit, put your pitbulls away. I remember saying crazy things like I’m not gonna date a woman that doesn’t have her father in her life, or I’m not gonna fix another man’s mistakes. Like my brother says, it’s all on how you wanna look at it.
When I first met my wife I knew she was THE one from day one. everything was perfect up until Christmas. After opening our presents on Christmas, somehow she got ahold of a receipt that she thought was mine. I had gotten her gifts wrapped at a wrapping shop and somehow I must have picked up somebody else’s receipt and didn’t think anything about it . I was so happy to get her the gifts I got her And there was really nowhere for me to wrap the presents at the house for it to be a surprise. Well months later she found that receipt and threw it in my face. She misunderstood the situation and left the house. Long story short that receipt was for a purse that I did not buy her, her friend bought it for her mother. So she thought I was buying a purse for another girl. And she let this infest in her for months until one little situation came up, and she made something out of nothing. I had no idea what was going on. I would have never found out if I didn’t say to myself, you know what? Whatever this woman is mad at it doesn’t matter, I love her enough to apologize for something I have no idea about. Now I could have used this as an excuse to cheat. This situation over a period of time kept popping up like this to the point where we almost lost each other.
So after going through some bumpy roads, a few months of separation. We both had got re-fascinated with why we fell in love in the first place. What was the argument about? Do you love her, does she love you? She was holding on to what past dudes had done to her. And I needed to learn that I can’t fix what’s been done to her. I had a totally different way of looking at things. And I realized that my job as her husband was to love her and support her. Now I answer any questions she have , she has access to my phone and computers. I’ve never had anything to hide. But instead of looking at it like I was micromanaged. In order for her to ever deal with this past situations I would have to understand it is not my job to fix them. Things are never gonna be perfect. When I choose to look at things differently. I no longer get irritated with questions or her concerns. I can answer and we discuss any issues and I can tell you this, we we have the most amazing experience living our life together.