Should Age Define Love? or Is He Mature Enough To Love Me? I’m 62 and my husband Ramon is 41, did I ever think I would marry a man 20 years younger than me? No! When we met and started dating I was not at all interested in being in a relationship. I had been divorced at that point for about 6 years and was enjoying the single life. Although I was still heavily involved with running the Tae Bo Fitness Brand which I co created with my ex, Billy Blanks.
After becoming beyond sick of being overlooked and discounted in so many ways. My needs were not being met and I was not living a fulfilled life no matter the amount of Stuff & Toys I had. I was unhappy and I knew that I deserved more, I was worth more.
Feeling unappreciated is one of the worst emotional states of mind to be in life. I definitely didn’t think I was going to find that in a tall dark and handsome man 20 years younger than me.. Yikes!!! Boy was I wrong. When I finally got the courage to leave my first marriage, I was free and could fly. It was all new to me, but exciting nonetheless. No one to minimize me, no one to tell me anything. No restrictions. It was truly all new territory and I had to find my way. I hadn’t realized just how much I had conformed to a life I never asked for in the first place. Not having the opportunity to be me and I was angry at myself that I missed out on so much.
I was just interested in meeting different men when I met Ramon. With the need to have different experiences without anything getting too intense or serious and definitely no commitments from either person. At this point of my life I felt little emotionally other than that I either enjoyed someone’s company or I didn’t. Certainly I wasn’t pursuing anyone and if I felt as though anyone was pursuing me I would cut them off.
The first date that Ramon and I had was different though. I more than enjoyed talking to him and being with him. This was fascinating & I was intrigued. He captured my thoughts. I had seen so much in my life that little inspired me or was thought provoking to me. I guess I had become tainted in some ways. We talked about life, change, growth, experiences and so much more. Both of us had been through a lot and there we were, despite it all, connecting. We connected on a level that I had never experienced with another human being, let alone a man.
I never laughed or smiled so much in my life. A few months later he would tell me that on our first date he thought I was a porn star. I thought that was absolutely hysterical. We had such a great time, I had never been around someone who understood me and that I felt so completely comfortable with instantly. I usually had my guard up and I wouldn’t let people know me easily. Especially the silly, irreverent person that I am. My ex-husband didn’t have a good sense of humor so when I would play around or when he saw me enjoying myself he would be irritated. He was like a disapproving parent scolding a bad child with an ugly look. It got to the point where I was quiet around him and I would only have fun when he wasn’t around. He squashed my spirit and therefore he missed out in even really knowing all of me. But sadly it took away from life as well.
I hid who I really was. There was a free spirited woman that I didn’t show the world, blasting hip hop music early in the morning dancing around my house. So, so much more. With Ramon I could put my guard down and be myself. And the sex was incredible too! Amazing! With him I could express myself and be myself, it felt liberating. It was an incredible feeling, the ultimate experience all around and to me it was completely freeing. Something else incredibly important to me was that he continually encouraged every aspect of me as a woman. My intellect, wisdom, creativity and sexuality. I had always felt repressed in some way. Even though I was an integral part of my ex-husbands growth and ultimate fame and recognition I was treated as though I was next to nothing. I was never one to seek the limelight, but I deserved to be respected. So dating and having freedom was exhilarating but falling in love with someone who puts no restrictions on you and stimulates you in all ways is fulfilling.
Ramon even came right in and helped out with his film and graphic skills. He even contributed in producing some amazing graphics for our first FIBO event in Germany. I had dated other guys that Billy had met and was even cool with. But this was different. Ramon was very cool with him and it seemed to go well even though Billy had a lot to say about him behind his back. Ramon even said when Billy shook his hand he knew this was going to be different than the other weirdos I dated that he met. LOL We were kids when we got married and anything else about that will be left for another article. LOL Yes, when I met Ramon I felt like “Stella Got Her Groove Back #2”.
As much as I had wanted and tried to resist, I wanted to spend time with this man. It was important to hear about his day and tell him about mine. Ramon started off to me as a casual date, a casual experience, sex and fun. But, here this man would cook for me all the time, he would make sure I ate! That was unheard of, before we started dating, my family made me drink frikken Ensure! I would never eat, I had no appetite, with Ramon I found my appetite…LOL! That’s an understatement!
We enjoyed doing all kinds of things together. Showing and sharing with one another new things and old things. We both love exploring and being spontaneous so we would indulge in jumping in the car and going somewhere on a whim. We’d rent quads or fly a drone over the ocean and take amazing photos. We’d dance the night away or talk in the spa for hours with drinks. We still do all of those things and it never ever gets old.
He’s never made me feel like anything less than amazing, beautiful and sexy. And he has turned into my best friend and my soulmate. Should Age Define Love? Not only was mature, He woke me from my complacent attitude about myself, about life and about the possibility of love, sex and the whole damn sha bang!
He’s become my man and ultimately my husband. We have the best of all worlds. We always say that we never would change our past life experiences because they have made us who we are. They allowed us to be prepared for one another when the time was right, when we least expected it. Trust me, I least expected to be married to anyone, but it happened and now on to new, better and different experiences.